my quarantine reflection
This has been the hardest year of my life, and arguably the hardest year for many. It’s been a year of loss: from musical legends, memories and experiences unmade, stolen goodbyes, Black bodies ripped from the Earth, to loved ones that were taken by the hands of the virus. We have all, in different ways, felt emotional and physical wear and tear living in a time of such uncertainty, division, and tragic loss. Our “typical” way of life has been flipped on its head, as we now embrace a life of social distance, masks, Zoom meetings (many that could just be sent in an email), and lots of hand sanitizer. Some adjustments have been easier for me than others, but I have particularly felt the loss of quality time and physical touch, some of my most prevalent love languages. I am nothing without my village, so saying no to plans I so desperately want to participate in, or not being able to hug my grandparents has been such a difficult thing for me. I know I am not alone in those feelings, but sometimes I feel like I am.
Over these last few months, I have often found myself in tears, utterly helpless, because I have not known what to do or where to turn. In those times, I have learned to turn inwards; to dive deep into those feelings and use this time of isolation as a much needed period of reflection and recalibration. I have reflected upon how I can better protect my spirit and refine my purpose. I have grown closer to God, journaled extensively, read books I have been putting off for months, made gratitude and mindfulness practice a habit, and taken steps away from sources of toxicity that had clouded my vision. I have socially distanced myself from social media and any other elements of my life that stole my joy and time, and have instead prioritized instilling unequivocal and unapologetic joy within myself. One thing I refuse to lose during this time is myself.
But one of the most powerful realizations for me throughout this quarantine so far has been seeing the posits of positivity sprinkled amongst the darkness. I have noticed the resilience of the millions of people worldwide that were uprooted from their ways of life, yet kept going. I have noticed the steadfast determination of protestors, community organizers, and student changemakers in response to racial injustice, ignorance, and political inaction. I instantly think of student organizers, including those at Northwestern, demanding long overdue change at their institutions. I have noticed the helping hands of volunteers handing out protest packs at Black Lives Matter Plaza and those who have selflessly donated to causes they care deeply about. I have noticed the creativity of many who have sought out new means of social connection and those who have pioneered innovative projects and ideas during the quarantine. I have noticed the smiles in people’s eyes as they pass by even with their masks. I have felt firsthand the power of collectivity, of community, and of mutuality.
And each day, I am thankful, because quarantine has reminded me that life is a privilege and a blessing that I will never take for granted again.
