becoming a well-watered woman
“In our quest for a fruitful life, it’s important to remember that blooms aren’t continuous. They come and go, but that doesn’t mean the moments in between are unnecessary or less important. Blooms result from the fruitful labor done in the planting, the rooting, the growing, and the waiting. You can’t enjoy a flower without the long process that brought it to that point.”
Two weeks ago, I stumbled upon these words while doing my morning bible devotional by Gretchen Saffles. Then I reread them because my spirit was so deeply moved. I didn't stumble upon them at all; I read them right when I needed them. These words helped me reframe and redefine what this challenging year has truly been for me. This devotional planted the seeds within me to intentionally become a well-watered woman, rooted in Christ above all things.
In the many months I have taken away from this blog, I have been in a period of planting, rooting, growing, and waiting. Sometimes I felt idle and unmotivated, like I was merely going through the motions of each dragging day. I ridiculed myself for not posting on Black & Bloom and for playing hide-and-seek with many parts of myself that I had lost. I experienced immeasurable loss, including my grandfather and my godfather in one month. Two formative pillars in my life had suddenly collapsed beneath me, leaving my foundation completely unstable and crumbled. To offer a false sense of support, I poured myself into a love that ultimately was not meant for me, so much so that my own cup ran dry. In the end, I experienced a betrayal I could never have imagined, shaking me even more. I felt completely alone. At the beginning of 2023, I made plans on my own accord, but God had vastly different plans for me. He showed me, even through all the grief and shock I still hold, that I must always draw near to Him. He is my strongest pillar. I am never alone with Him by my side. Through our connection, He revealed to me that each challenge of this year was formative and that I was in fact blooming. No, it wasn’t necessarily like the anticipated blossoming of fragrant daffodils or tulips in the springtime. But it was a blooming that was uniquely authentic to me and my own journey. With each of these low moments, a leaf, even if small, began to sprout within me.
I have grown to appreciate more deeply where I have been planted. Especially as I craft my new life in Paris, I have become more intentional about the soil that I am planted in, specifically who and what I surround myself with. I have begun to remove the weeds that have been suffocating my roots, whether people, habits, or vices. I am so grateful for the many vibrant flowers forming a garden of love around me, including new and old friends and the unwavering support of my family. They have uplifted me throughout my law school application journey, my move abroad for my Fulbright fellowship, and all of the loss of this year. They have encouraged and expanded my faith in God and humanity when I felt defeated. As an aspiring well-watered woman, I am now even more appreciative of the blooms of life and all the moments in between.
I received so many direct and unavoidable signs from God during this blooming period that He will continue to work through me on this platform. My dear cousin, Alexys, even told me that while she was fasting, God told her that He has been knocking at my door, waiting for me to listen and follow. I have a lot of doubts and insecurities regarding Black & Bloom, but I am going to lean into them and just trust where He is leading me. Because He has never steered me to the wrong path.
So as we enter this new year of 2024, I leave you with the scripture verse that inspired this post. Quite frankly, it helps to ground the entirety of my blog and is a reminder to remain patient, trusting, and open to the ways that God transforms our lives if we let Him. He is helping to grow me, grow us, into beautiful gardens. Let’s bloom together.
The Lord will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
Isaiah 58, NIV
